MENTORING...Mentors can change lives. I have been afforded the privilege of a mentor. My life has been changed.

At thirty-one years of age I have been mentored for eleven years. The 1993 Grand Final, ironically Carlton versus Essendon provided the setting. I sat vexed as I wondered what might have been barring a hamstring strain and a little more football based experience. On the surface the day appeared all but lost on a personal level. The half time siren sounded and I was left to ponder life. At the time my relationship with my parents was little more than a disaster. My mother and I were unable to communicate beyond insult with my father caught between the verbal crossfire. In my blinkered eyes my parents simply had no idea. If there was ever a time that my life needed an external influence it was now.

An aged hand fell upon my shoulder and with a startled glance I looked up form my sullen state. The gentleman who stood above me appeared to be interested in talking to me. I could only wonder what this old man wanted (Please excuse the reference to old. After all I was twenty years of age and anything over thirty was derelict, as I am now!)

An introduction of name was quickly followed by a compliment.

"You're a pretty good footballer".

My head began to swell but not before it was quickly deflated.

"But you're not that bloody good!"

I was dumbstruck. Who was this old man? An offer soon followed.

"I will meet you every Wednesday morning at a local park in Essendon where we will work on your skills for an hour. If you are late don't bother coming back. This is my phone number."

I sat quietly amongst thousands of football fans. Staring at the piece of paper I realized why the MCG outer is called the Great Southern Stand, for this was potentially one of the greatest offers of my life.

Upon my arrival home my news provided a mutual topic of discussion. My father was so excited to think that an Essendon great in Alec Epis had afforded his son such an offer. My mother seemed relieved that someone else could march into battle. Regardless of their enthusiasm a phone call was made and a true discussion held, as my parents didn't wish to compound the current problems by enlisting the help of a deranged lunatic.

Fortunately Alec turned out to be only mildly deranged and as a result of his mentoring I was able to reengage my parents, ignite my football career and develop into a better person. To this day I would talk to Alec at least twice a week and being a father of three I hope with fingers crossed that regardless of the state of my family based relationships that my children discover the virtues of having a trusted mentor. Alec and I will always remain the best of friends.

My story is a classic example of right place, time and person. Don't think for a moment that you need to be a sporting star, musician or media personality to have an affect on a young person. You only need to be able to consider four main areas.

Time. Before you become a mentor carefully consider the amount of spare time that you consistently have over the course of a year. It is important for a young person to have regular access to their mentor. One week on and three weeks off just won't cut mustard.

Motivation. Why do you won't to be a mentor? Becoming a mentor isn't about directly benefiting yourself. Mentoring can't be used to gain work experience. Young people can quickly spot those who are in it for self-promotion.

Expectations. A mentor should have a clear and realistic set of expectations for themselves and the staff and organization with whom they are working with. Mentoring is not an exact science and as such safety nets in the form of education and training should always be available and utilised. Communication should always be kept open between mentor, mente and mentoring body.

Boundaries. The safety of all parties is paramount. Mentor and mente must have appropriate boundaries in place from the outset of any "match". An extensive process of background investigation is always checked off before a potential mentor engages a young person.

If you can honestly answer those four criteria there will be a young person whose life you can influence greatly. And you never know they may influence yours. Just ask Alec.